I never thought I could do it. Not really. And then I would get mad and know I could. And then I wouldn’t and then I would FEEL the seed of self doubt wheedle its way into my psyche. Ever have that happen? When you know you want something and then you can’t get it when you do your best to BELIEVE it’s yours? And then when you taste that bitter dish of failure, it hits you everywhere else. It’s called ‘self doubt’ so I’ve been told and I’ve felt it so many times from when I was little to now to every moment of my life.
When was the last time you felt ‘self doubt’?
I have read Think and Grow Rich, I have walked on fire (many times) and I have overcome a lot, but none of that matters when the specter of self doubt looms before you and sometimes it only takes that glimmer of his shadow to cast upon you just enough of his dismal energy to sweep away the hope, belief or certainty you might have thought you had. What do you have to do? Do you need a Patronus Charm to send them away? Or is it something else entirely?
So that’s where my story begins. And it leverages itself into something even more spectacular and it only took 13 seconds. What? How could something like that only take 13 seconds? (That’s what she said!!) But seriously, the story begins with a rope. You see? There is this rope. It’s next to the road leading up to the bridge at my horse sanctuary in Orlando. It hangs from a strong tree branch about 35 or so feet in the air. Now, why would anyone want to climb a perfectly good rope? ME!! I WOULD! I love the challenge and after having run multiple Spartan races and looking to run more and get stronger and faster, I knew that climbing a rope would be an amazing way to continue to build my strength and stamina for such things. The thing is, I was slow. I’ve always been slow when it comes to athletics. So when my CEO and I challenged each other to get up the rope in under 15 seconds, I knew I was doomed.
But today, I did it. Yesterday I did not. And not only did I do it, I did it in two whole seconds faster than the desired time. I also did it SOONER than I told myself I needed to! THAT was a first. I was always the person that would be “3 feet from gold” as they say. Running 3 seconds behind my goal time, getting second place in EVERYTHING I can ever remember competing in. Drama, swimming, gymnastics, French Horn. You name it, I was your Golden’s Mustard and I suppose that ain’t bad. But I am and have been TIRED of that!! So when I looked at the rope today I simply made a decision. I am climbing the rope today in under 15 seconds. What followed was nothing short of just pure determination. I just went. I didn’t think. It was hands up, legs up go. Hands up, legs up go. And I rang the bell and holy moly I hit it in not under 15 seconds but a solid two seconds under! Fantastic!! But here’s the thing, WHY? Why was I able to do it today instead of yesterday? Yesterday I climbed it in 16.5 seconds, a full 3 1/2 seconds slower. Oh and did I mention I am on day four of a water fast? Yeah, that’s right, I haven’t had a single solid calorie in four days!! So why was I able to do it today? I am the same person, I have the same skill set today that I did yesterday, so what is the difference?
I can tell you what it was. It has shown up inside of me when I knew I MUST do something and I felt myself desire it at such a level that I knew that no matter the result or the outcome, I was going to give everything I had to achieve it. And to be clear, it wasn’t motivation or determination or anything that you would normally expect to see in the “how to climb a rope” section of the DIY. The truth was and one of the main secrets to my success and ultimately my freedom was detachment. Yes, my friends, detachment.
I have been in so much pain from the attachment to an outcome, whether it be in a relationship, a business opportunity or even and especially with my horses! So what does detachment give you? It gives you the opportunity to relax and trust that whatever happens is exactly what is supposed to and not only that, but it frees you from the idea that you should EVER hold back from doing your absolute BEST. And guess what? That rope is just a metaphor. Patches O’Houlihan says, “If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” Same goes for that damn rope. If I can whip up that thing in nothing flat, what ELSE can I do? Oh my gosh, let’s find out! And for those of you reading this, what is YOUR rope? What do you need to detach from that is holding you back from becoming your highest and best self? Hmmmm…
I’m Jen Zoë and this is Zenerjen.